Six Steps to Build Your Self-Confidence
Being confident of this very thing, that he who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ - Philippians 1:6
Self-confidence is a determinant factor for living a happy and fulfilled life as it empowers us with hope, courage, peace of mind and a laser focus to get things done. Those points are well illustrated in the power of self-confidence. Many people know the benefit and the power of confidence but most do not know how to develop self-confidence and keep it consistently. I have been struggled for years about this finally I found the secret to develop and maintain my confidence. Here I summarize my personal experience into six key steps.
Step 1: Build Close Partnership with God, the Infinite Intelligence
Where do you think you can get the confidence? Where can you store confidence once you gain it? Confidence flows out of our inner heart, if not, the confidence is superficial and it can be ebbed off soon and fear still seizes you tightly and paralyzes you. You have to instill confidence before it flows out. How can you do that?
There is a law for everything, a law for life, a law for death; a law for prosperity, a law for perish; a law for instilling confidence and a law for stealing it away. Whether you know the law or not, it exists and it functions persistently and silently and it controls our life. A wise man learn how to know the law and follow it in living harmony with it and takes rides on it, he can live a blessed life with peace, fruitfulness and success. There is one law over all laws in the universe and it’s the creator of all laws. You only need to find the one law over all other laws then live in harmony with him then all other laws will follow. This one law is the creator of the universe, all Mighty God, the infinite intelligence. Actually God is not far from you but He is surrounding you every second just like airs around you. You only need to call for Him and believe in Him. Ask for his help for anything you do. As the bible said, Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You can gain confidence by asking God’s help in prayer, you keep your confidence by constantly asking his help through prayers. With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). You cannot live a life by only breathing once, nor can you keep confidence by praying once. You have to recharge it in praying constantly as you keep breathing very seconds and the bible tells us, Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:7).
Step 2: Value Your Uniqueness
Do you know how unique you are? You own something really special that no one else has it. I say this with a sound scientific support – each of us has a unique DNA code that uniquely defines a unique version of you and me like unique personality, color and voice. That means everyone is good at something, whether it's art, math, music or sport. So discover the things at which you can excel, and focus on the unique talent and be proud of it and perform it out to your best. Do not neglect your gift (1Timothy 4:4)
However, in life, so many people ignore or devalue their uniqueness but constantly want to become someone else. Some people do not like their physical appearance; some do not like their personality; some do not like their existing situation or fate so they become so distressed and depressed and lose their confidence in life. In order to live a life of victory, you have to stop constantly comparing your weakness with other’s strength but instead to focus on your strength. Sometimes your strength may be wrapped in weakness or disability.
Roger Crawford was born with shortened arms and legs, he only had three toes on his shrunken right foot and his withered left leg was amputated later. The doctor said Roger suffered a rare birth defect that affects only one out of 90,000 children and Roger would never be able to walk and live independently. However, Roger did not believe in his doctor and gave up his dreams, instead he did opposite– pursued what he loved most, sports. He went to college and played tennis, finishing his tennis career with two times more wins than losses, and he became a certified tennis teacher. Also he became a great speaker and tells people what it takes to become a winner in life no matter who you are and where you are right now. His path to where he is right now is not smooth but full of obstacles and setbacks. Once in a football game, the ball landed in his arms and off he ran as fast as he could on his artificial leg toward the goal line. But a guy from the other team grabbed Roger’s left ankle. Roger tried to pull his artificial leg but it ended up being pulled off. While Roger was still standing up and did not know what else to do, the referee ran over and threw his hands into air, yelled Touchdown! Roger also knew what he could not do such as typing with fingers on computers. And he said “I learned a very good lesson from my typing class, you cannot do everything – it’s better to focus on what you can do.”
Step 3: View Problems as Great Opportunities
Unexpected tragedies in life can make people whine their lot, give up life and dreams, while some exceptional prefer to see their adversity as a new opportunity to blossom. Twenty eight-year-old Liao Zhi lost the lower parts of both her legs during the earthquake in 2008. Despite losing her legs, Liao persisted in dancing and she uses fake legs and performs on a big drum. One time, while she was dancing, one of her prosthetic legs was thrown into audiences. She also finished the 2013 Shanghai International Marathon and has been a volunteer to help other earthquake survivors. Liao said, "I don't think of myself as a victim of this disaster, that's the real reason I was able to get through this — I didn't have the victim mentality". She turned her misfortune to a great fortune, a Christian speaker, giving witness of God’s love and inspiring people to live out their fullest no matter what life throws at them.
Life is fair when viewing every unfortunate as a unique opportunity to push yourself further and bring out your best talent hidden behind a lucky ordinary life.
Step 4: Develop a Positive Master Mind Group
Sometimes in life, we are emotionally low and confused about where to go so we need encouragement and support from others. Connect people close to you like family or friends, to keep you uplifted and set up a goal to develop a group of people who are supportive and uplifting around you and spend more time with them. Furthermore, stay away from people that make you feel bad or constantly criticize you.
Step 5: Keep Work Life Balance
Like everything else in life, building self-confidence needs maintain a good work life balance. Take time to sharpen your saw: eat healthy, sleep enough, exercises and reflect regularly even when you are very busy. All those can revitalize your energy and moderate your emotions and help you deal with stress more effectively.
Step 6: Practice Five Steps
The last step is to practice the five steps every day. We all know practice makes perfect. And Aristotle said "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." My dear readers, take actions to develop your confidence by turning the five steps into your daily habit, Commit your cause to the mighty God, value your uniqueness; turn problems into great opportunities, develop a positive master mind group, Keep good work and life balance and practice and practice every day. Remember, I (you) can do all things through Christ which strengthen me (you) (Philippians 4:13)